Unveiling Darkness
by InfiniteHiatus
Summary: It all began with a horrific accident, which morphed familial love into hatred and enshrouded one family in darkness. The result? A vengeful bet designed to break down a guilt-ridden loner. In the end, will the green-eyed enemy prove to be the light?
1. Darkness

**Unveiling Darkness**

**Summary:** It all began with a horrific accident, which morphed familial love into hatred and enshrouded one family in darkness. The result? A vengeful bet designed to break down a guilt-ridden loner. When darkness is all that Bella and her family have known, will the green-eyed enemy prove to be the light that she stopped believing in long ago?

_Rated M for all the usual reasons- language, dark themes, vague drug use, and possibly eventual lemons._

_Any and all of my grammar/spelling mistakes are my full responsibility; I have no beta. Please forgive me._

**I. Darkness**

_April 29, 2003 _

"Honey, do you really think that we should leave Tanya here like this? She feels like she's got a slight fever now." Mrs. Denali looked down at her ten year old daughter who was currently snuggled into bed with a crimson nose and watery eyes.

Mr. Denali looked down at his daughter in sympathy. She didn't get sick that often, but whenever she did catch a bug, it was always the worst kind. For Tanya, there was no such a thing as the sniffles. During her ten year lifetime, she had already been in the hospital twice for pneumonia.

Mr. Denali placed a comforting hand on his wife's shoulder, "I know, sweetie. I called to tell Renee and Charlie that we probably wouldn't be able to make Bella's award ceremony, but when they tried explaining the situation to her, all she could really focus on was that we were breaking our promise," he sighed, rubbing his aching temples, "I compromised and told her that we would come long enough to see her get her award, but then we have to leave immediately after."

Mrs. Denali frowned, "I know we promised Bella that we would be there, but I just don't feel right leaving Tanya here. What if it gets worse? I know that she may not be too bad right now, but you know how awful her colds get." She anxiously tore her eyes away from her husband, inspecting Tanya as if she had suffered a massive downfall in the few seconds that it took for her to reply to Mr. Denali.

He chuckled, attempting to lessen his wife's worry. She always was the cautious one. It took her a year before she gained the courage to leave Tanya alone with a babysitter so that they could have a night out together, but the separation anxiety was so horrible that they had to return home twenty minutes later. And he wasn't talking about separation anxiety on Tanya's part, either. "We're only staying long enough to snap a picture of Bella getting her award. With the way that she hates attention, she'll probably scamper across the stage so quickly that we'll be able to leave within two minutes." When Mrs. Denali still didn't seem convinced, he grabbed her hands, rubbing soothing circles into her palms. "I promise that we'll be back in less than an hour. Nothing is going to happen to Tanya, and even in the extremely rare instance that something does, Irina will know exactly what to do because she's studying to be a pediatrician. That's the specific reason why you hired her to be the babysitter, remember?"

Despite her frantic state, she smiled, dimples forming beneath her crimson tinted cheeks. Her husband was always coming up with snide ways to comment on her anxious behavior. "Alright fine," she sighed, "Hurry and go call Irina before I change my mind." Mr. Denali grinned, pecking her cheek before racing downstairs.

Mrs. Denali bent down, placing a soft kiss on her baby's forehead, "Sweetie, mommy and daddy are only going to be gone for a little while. We're going to congratulate Cousin Bella for her awards, but we'll be back as soon as possible. Irina's coming over soon and if you need anything or you feel any worse, tell Irina and we'll be home immediately."

"You're leaving me?" A wrinkle formed on Tanya's forehead, "But why?" She snuggled into Mrs. Denali, wrapping her tiny arms as tightly as she could around her mother. "Please don't go. I want you and daddy to stay here with me."

Mrs. Denali shut her eyes, knowing that if she took one glance at her daughter's look of desperation, her decision to keep her promise to Bella would have been shattered. "I know sweetie, but we promised Bella that we would attend her award ceremony. If you were in Bella's position, how would you feel if Aunt Renee and Uncle Charlie broke their promise to you?"

The little girl glanced up at her mother, her eyes narrowing in an almost speculative look, like she was in search of hidden truth. Tanya fiddled with her stuffed teddy bear, understanding that no one liked broken promises, but still harboring the creeping suspicion that her parents were choosing Bella over her. "Is this 'cause Cousin Belly's smarter than me?"

Mrs. Denali blinked, her eyebrows scrunching together as she failed to realize that Tanya had always considered herself inadequate to the smart and saintly Bella. "What are you talking about, sweetie?"

"Are you leaving me 'cause Belly's smarter than me? You're prouder of her 'cause she got an award and I don't?" Tanya clearly remembered the first time that she realized Bella was smarter than her. One day she began to wonder why she was only in a level four reading, but Bella was a level one. When she herself couldn't figure it out for herself, she decided to voice her confusion to her fellow level four friend Garrett, who explained that level four was for "us stupid retards" and level one was only for the "smart goody two-shoes". To this day, ten year old Tanya was well-aware of the fact that while she still had the occasional difficulty with her multiplication, nine year old Bella was on her way to mastering long division.

Mrs. Denali wrapped her arms around her beautiful daughter, her soft voice becoming slightly more forceful, "Tanya, I don't ever want to hear you put yourself down like that ever again, you hear me?" The little girl nodded, ducking her face into her mother's side. "You are just as smart as Bella." She smoothed down her daughter's hair, " And I love both you and Bella equally. I don't know what made you think that you aren't as smart as your cousin, but you are, and I want you to know that you can achieve anything you put your mind to."

"If I'm just as smart as her, how come I don't got an award? And how come she's in higher levels than me?"

Mrs. Denali glanced away from her daughter, glaring at the wall. She appreciated that the school system gave the gifted students the opportunity to advance at a quick pace suited to their abilities, but she hated the negative effect that it had on the children who learned at an average pace. Why did the gifted children get to benefit at the expense of the average student's confidence and self-worth? She sighed, rubbing her temples, "Sweetie, you're going to get an award one day, it just all depends upon how the stars align. Today might have been Bella's day of recognition, but yours is coming real soon. You just have to keep faith and gaze up at the stars every night with hope in your eyes. Never lose that hope, T-Bear."

Tanya giggled, "Am I supposed to look at the real stars or my ceiling stars?"

Mrs. Denali grinned, tickling her little girl's side until she squealed in laughter. As a strong believer in astrology and having a love for the sky, she was proud that her daughter shared her love for the stars. On the rare clear night in rainy Forks, the family would go out into the backyard and stretch out on a blanket, gazing up at the sky. One night after Tanya expressed her wish that they could look at the sky more often, her mother granted her wish by recreating the galaxy on her bedroom's ceiling. Now, every night after her parents turned out the lights, Tanya could gaze up at the glow-in-the-dark stars and planets. Her mother's favorite planet was Jupiter, while her father's was Uranus. It only made sense that Tanya's favorite planet was the planet in between- Saturn.

Mr. Denali leaned against the doorway, watching the scene with a smile on his face. It felt like such a crime to tear the two away from each other, but he convinced himself that it would only be for one short hour. As Irina approached from behind, she placed a reassuring hand on his shoulders, "She'll be fine."

He nodded, walking over to his daughter to place a kiss on her cheek. "We have to leave now if we want to be on time, but we'll be right back. Feel better soon, T-Bear."

The couple began heading out when Mrs. Danvers glanced over at Irina. "We already gave her medicine. Check her temperature every fifteen minutes. Make sure that she doesn't get up and start running around, either. If she gets any worse, and I mean even if her temperature only rises by one point, you call us."

"Sure thing, Mrs. Denali. You have nothing to worry about- you're leaving your daughter in the best hands."

"The best hands would be her own parents," Mrs. Denali muttered beneath her breath.

Mr. Denali nudged her in the side, smiling apologetically to Irina, "You'll have to excuse her. You know how she can be when it comes to our little girl."

Irina smirked, "I kind of figured that out within the first five minutes of meeting her. I don't think NASA applicants have to go through such an extensive interview." Irina could still clearly recall how awful her interview was. Some of the questions made her blush, some made her stutter in nervousness, and some made her outraged at the invasion of privacy. She left the house feeling dejected, knowing that she had failed miserably. Imagine her surprise when she got a call back just a few days later. Over the years, Mrs. Denali had gradually warmed up to the other woman taking care of her child, but there were still moments when she regressed back into the fiercely protective mother bear.

"Bye mommy and daddy. I love you."

"Love you too, T-Bear. We'll be back soon, we promise." They waved to their daughter, slowly trudging down the stairs. They wanted nothing more than to spin around and race back up to their daughter, but they forced themselves to carry on. A promise was a promise.

As the door finally clicked shut, Irina turned to Tanya, grinning.

"So, who wants some homemade chicken noodle soup?"

**(…)**

"Now we would like to take a moment to honor a wonderful and intelligent young lady receiving tonight's most prestigious award. Here to accept the All-Star Award, an amazing girl who is sure to have the brightest future, is Bella Swan!" The principal began clapping, the crowd soon following, cheering so loud that her eardrums winced in agony and her cheeks protested with a nasty crimson color.

Bella scurried on stage, reaching out to receive her award, but just as her fingertips brushed the plaque, the principal snatched it out of her grasp. "Not yet, dear. You have to give a speech first."

Bella's eyes widened in horror, having no idea that it was a requirement to give a speech. If she had been told beforehand, she would have never agreed to come tonight. Maybe that's why it was kept a secret from her. She stepped towards the podium, a furious crimson tint forming on her cheeks that began slowly creeping down her neck. She gulped, "I'd, uh, I'd like to th-thank my mom and dad for, um, s-supporting me." She tugged at her braids, scouring through the crowd. As her eyes landed on her aunt and uncle, she beamed, "And my aunt and uncle. My cousin Tanya, too, even though she couldn't be here tonight." She swirled around, snatching the award away before the principle had the chance to protest or request a longer speech.

After she descended the stairs, she rushed over to her family. "You guys made it!" She crashed into Mr. and Mrs. Denali's legs, wrapping her short and chubby arms around them. Tanya and Bella really were polar opposites. Where Tanya was tall and lanky, Bella was a tad bit stubbier; it was why Tanya had nicknamed her Cousin Belly.

"Of course we did, sweetheart," Mrs. Denali brushed Bella's bangs out of her eyes, "Now smile so your parents can take a picture of us before we have to leave."

Bella frowned, hating that they had to leave so soon, but understanding that they had to go home to take care of her cousin. At least they had kept their promise. "I hope that Tanya feels better soon."

Mr. Denali patted her shoulder, "We all do, kid. Now hurry, flash me one of those killer mega-watt smiles. None of that shy stuff, got it?"

Bella giggled, exposing her full row of crooked teeth just as Renee clicked the camera's button. Mr. and Mrs. Denali hugged Bella, saying their goodbyes. As they rushed towards the exit, Renee called out to her older sibling, "Be careful sis, the rain is pouring down pretty hard out there."

Mrs. Denali tossed back a smirk, "Are you seriously telling _me _to be careful? Have we not met before?"

Mr. Denali chuckled, "Yeah, and that's exactly why you're not driving. You'll have us creeping down the road slower than a tortoise."

A final laugh was shared, but Renee couldn't shake the eerie feeling that was creeping in on her. "I mean it, though. Be careful."

"Sure thing, sis. I love you and I'll call you as soon as we get home to tell you how Tanya's doing."

"Alright, I love you, too." Renee waved, but her sister and brother-in-law had already exited. She sighed, glancing over at Bella, "So, who wants ice cream for being a big old smarty pants?"

She giggled, hopping up and down, clapping, "I do! I do!"

**(…)**

"And you said that I drive like a turtle?" Mrs. Denali quirked an eyebrow at her husband, "Why are you driving so slow tonight? It's almost like you don't want us to get home to Tanya."

"Well, it's pouring down right now, so unless you want to wind up in the bushes somewhere and being permanently separated from Tanya, I suggest that you let me drive at this pace." He squinted, "I can barely even see the yellow line."

She huffed, "I told you that you needed glasses."

Combined with his agitation at not being able to see, his unusual state of high caution, and his wife's constantly negative attitude tonight, he snapped, "Would you stop nagging for one minute? I can't see the road because of the weather, not because of my vision. If you think that you can do so much better, I'll pull over right now and you can drive." He tore his eyes away from the road to glower at her.

She returned his glare, "Fine, pull over. I don't understand why you just didn't let me drive in the first place." He recklessly yanked the wheel to the side and came to a screeching halt, the rain making them slide a few feet forward rather than abruptly stopping. "You stupid son of a bitch, what the hell is wrong with you? You're going to get us killed!" She went to swing open her door, but he stopped her.

"Stay there," he ordered in a gruff tone, reaching into the backseat for an umbrella.

"Excuse me, but who do you think you are? You can't tell me what to-" He got out and slammed his door shut, effectively cutting off her sentence. Defeated, she mumbled, "-do." She watched as he raced around to her door and opened it for her, motioning for her to climb out as he held the umbrella over her. Embarrassed, she smiled apologetically at him, "It would have only taken me a few seconds to run around to the driver's side. You didn't have to do that, you know."

He shrugged, continuing to protect her from the rain as they walked to the driver's side, "I didn't want you to get wet. I figured one sick person was enough." A blush tinted her cheeks, and even though it was dark, he could somehow sense it. He brushed his thumbs across it, teasing, "Now there's the reason I fell in love with you."

She leaned against the door, shyly glancing up at him with a girlish grin, "That the only reason?"

"Mhmm," he leaned in close, "Among other things." Just as he was about to place his lips upon hers, a truck horn blared. They glanced up in time to see two high beams directly in their path. A lump of dread twisted in their stomachs, their hearts beginning to pump furiously as their arteries clenched in preparation to flee. Bodies stiffened. Eyes widened. Pupils dilated.

They were surrounded by light.

And then everything went black.

**(…)**

Tanya glanced over at the clock. The hands had moved a lot since her parents had left, and even though she couldn't quite tell time yet, she knew that a large amount of time had passed. If she was smart like Bella, she could have known exactly how much time, but she wasn't smart and she certainly wasn't like Bella, either.

_Stupid Belly_.

Her parents would keep their promise to _her_, but not to their own daughter? They promised that they wouldn't be gone long, and it was such a simple promise, so she didn't understand why they couldn't keep it.

_Stupid Belly. _

Her parents would be home right now if it wasn't for her and her stupid award ceremony. To make matters worse, a thunderstorm was passing through, and Tanya despised them. She wanted her parents here so that they could build an indoor tent to crawl into and shield their eyes from the lightning.

_Stupid, stupid Belly. This is all her fault._

Unlike most kids, Tanya feared lightening more than thunder. Lightening was an angry force that split through the sky, damaging all of the stars that she was so fond of, forcing them into hiding.

As a clap of thunder echoed through the air, a knock on the door sounded. Irina jogged over, peeking through the peep hole before opening it. Even though Tanya couldn't see who was there, she knew as soon as Irina greeted, "Hello officers, what can I do for you?"

Tanya crept over to the door, peeking up at the officers from behind Irina's legs, watching as they removed their hats. Why would they do that if it was raining? They were going to catch a cold if they let their heads get wet. The taller officer cleared his throat, "Is this the Denali residence?"

"Yes, but I'm afraid Mr. and Mrs. Denali aren't home right now. I'm only the sitter." Irina wasn't particularly worried about the cops. She knew the Denali's were upstanding citizens and the officers had probably only stopped by to talk to them about something minor. She remembered that the bushes out front had grown quite big and reasoned that the cops were probably here to inform the Denali's that their bush was growing over their property line and needed to be trimmed.

But, somewhere in the back of her mind, she began to wonder why they wore such grim expressions.

The officers remained rooted to the doorway. As Tanya whimpered when a gust of bitter wind swept in, they turned towards the little girl, sympathy flashing in their eyes. Instinctively, Irina pushed Tanya closer behind her, shielding her from the two men who seemed to be barring more important information than she had originally anticipated. "Is everything alright, officers?"

"Ma'am," they glanced down at Tanya once again, "We would like to speak with you in private, if you don't mind." Officers were told to deliver this type of news in a formal and objective tone, completely respectful, but they couldn't fathom using such an attitude with the little girl. It was best if the sitter was the one to break the news. Unlike them, she could provide solace and sympathy.

Irina gulped, but attempted to keep her anxiety at bay as she turned towards Tanya, "Hey, why don't you go upstairs and warm up that Easy-Bake Oven you got for your birthday? I'll be up in a second and we can make some cookies for your parents when they get back."

Tanya took one last glance at the officers, narrowing her eyes in scrutiny. She gave up after a few seconds, begrudgingly accepting that she couldn't determine why they were on her porch. They looked as if some of the sand from the sandbox had slipped down their pants, especially when Irina mentioned cookies for her parents. Maybe it was because policemen liked donuts and were repulsed by other sweets like cookies.

As she trudged up the stairs and into her room, Tanya happened to glance over at her window. She gasped once she saw that it had stopped storming, and even as the night sky was still shrouded by heavy, dark clouds, a lone star sparkled in the sky directly beside a crescent-shaped moon. Crescent-shaped moons were her and her parent's favorite moon. During their nighttime gazing sessions, they would always tilt their heads to the side so that the moon resembled a smile.

Tanya beamed, grabbing her telescope to peer at the peculiar and rare sight. It was so amazing, so beautiful that she wanted to freeze the sky in its current position. Hurriedly, she began digging through her drawers for the disposable camera that her mother had given her, fearing that the image would disappear the second she turned her back. Once she finally captured the moment, she sighed in relief. Her room may have been a total mess as a result of her search, and her parents would undoubtedly be angry with her, but she knew that they would be so amazed once they saw the picture that she had taken. She only hoped her finger hadn't gotten in the way like it did when she took pictures sometimes.

As Irina rounded the corner, Tanya beamed at her, "'Rina, look, look!" Hallow eyes turned to stare at Tanya, but she remained unfazed, victoriously floating in her cloud of amazement. "Look outside, 'Rina! It just stormed, but a star is out. I took a picture jus' in case it goes away before mommy and daddy get back, but I really hope they get back soon so I can show them. It's so pretty, 'Rina!"

Irina tried to force a smile, prayed that the corners of her cheeks would shift upwards for the sake of the little girl, but it was a fruitless effort. Tanya was so happy, she always was, but Irina couldn't help but wonder exactly what would happen to the cheerful little girl after tonight. She wondered when she would be able to smile again, _if_ she would ever smile again. As she approached the cozy bed in the center of the room, she patted a spot beside her, "Tanya, would you come here for a second?"

Tanya wearily glanced at Irina. Why was she talking like that, so uncommonly serious? And why did her eyes have streaks of red in them, a stark contrast to her sickly pale skin? Tanya could have sworn that she didn't look like that when she first got here. As she sat down beside Irina on the bed, she glanced over at her, "What's a matter, 'Rina? Did the police hurt you or something?"

"No Tanya, I'm fine, I just- I need… Sweetie, I have to tell you something, but before I do, I want you to know that I'm always going to be here for you. I love you so much, and I'm not the only one who loves you very much, you have Uncle Charlie and Aunt Renee, too. We all love you so much and we'll be here whenever you need us for whatever reason."

"I got Cousin Belly too, don't forget," Tanya piped in. Even though she sometimes felt slighted by her younger cousin, Tanya knew it wasn't on purpose. Mama had always said that everyone had their strengths. Bella was smart, and Tanya… Well, Tanya hadn't quite figured it out, yet. She knew she was good at something, though. She would find out her destiny when the time was right, just like her mommy had said, when the stars aligned.

Irina choked out a laugh, "Yes, of course, you'll always have your cousin Bella." A stray tear cascaded down her cheek, but she swiped it away before Tanya could notice. She cleared her throat, "Tanya, you know that your parents went out tonight, right?" It was a stupid question, she knew that, but she wasn't exactly sure how to break the news to a ten year old. Taking it step by step seemed like the proper way to go.

Tanya nodded, "Yeah, they went to Belly's award ceremony," she frowned, "They promised they'd be back soon, but they're still gone. I wish they was back so that I can show them the star!"

"Well, sweetie, the uh- the weather was pretty bad out tonight…"

"I know, that's why it's so weird that the stars is out! It's shining so bright, too."

Irina opened her mouth, preparing to unleash the emotional dagger, but the front door opened downstairs.

_The Swans._

She sighed in relief, knowing that Tanya's aunt and uncle were surely a better fit for breaking the news to her. She had called them as soon as the police left her porch, knowing that they would be more sympathetic, better equipped to determine how the news should be broken to Tanya.

"Bella, come back here!" Renee's broken voice called out as a pair of tiny footsteps raced up the stairs, heavy footsteps lagging a few paces behind.

When Bella popped her tear-stained, crimson splotched face in Tanya's doorway, she pushed back her disheveled braids, sobbing, "T-tanya, I'm so-so s-sorry!" Her voice was overtaken by sobs, almost to the point where one couldn't decipher what she was saying, yet her next sentence eerily bolted out with perfect clarity, "I can't believe uncle and auntie are dead!"

The final word rang through the air just as Renee and Charlie reached their daughter a second too late. Irina clasped a hand over her mouth in horror, Renee's shoulders collapsed in defeat as sobs wracked throughout her body, and Charlie wrapped his arms around his wife as he attempted to stay calm and collected.

Tanya glanced at Irina.

Then at Charlie.

And then at Renee.

Finally, her eyes rested on Bella. She cocked her head to the side, "Dead?"

Tanya remembered her first encounter with death, recalling the day she found her hamster stiff in the bottom of its cage. She had called her father upstairs to help her sick pet, but he gently explained that Herbert the Hamster had passed on. She didn't exactly know much about death, but she knew that she never saw Herbert after that. They had sealed him inside a shoebox and buried him under their tree out front. Herbert was gone forever.

She blinked.

"My parents are gone?"

Hesitant nods were the only response, four pair of eyes carefully inspecting her, waiting for her complete breakdown.

"They're not coming back." Tanya's tone was flat and lifeless. Even she herself wasn't sure whether it was a statement or question. She gulped, not completely being able to process how she had just seen her parents an hour ago, and even though they had promised that they would be back soon, they were never, ever coming back. She wondered if her parents were lying stiff somewhere like her hamster or maybe buried in a big shoebox, perhaps at Bella's ceremony where they had been last.

_Bella._

Tanya's teeth clenched, her tiny hands balling into fists. Her parents had died while going to Bella's ceremony. This was all _her_ fault.

_Stupid. Freaking. Belly._

Her eyes hardened as her gaze froze on Bella, daggers silently stabbing every entire inch of Bella's body, wanting her to pay for taking the lives of the two most important people in her life. She wanted to scream at her, yank out her stupid frizzy braids, slap those pale and disgustingly chubby cheeks, but all she could do was stand there.

A sob broke past her lips, her furious glare morphing into a broken and blank stare reflecting her empty and hallow insides. Bella cowered away from her older cousin, backing into the comfort of her parents' legs, but it didn't deter Tanya's fixated stare as she declared the verdict that would forever haunt the family for the rest of their existence.

Her soft and girlishly youthful voice suddenly hardened.

"_You_ killed my parents."


	2. Vicious Circle

**II. Vicious Circle**

_April 29, 2011_

**Bella**

"Did you wake Tanya up, yet?"

I bit into my piece of toast, slowly chewing in hopes that my easily distracted mother would grow bored and move onto another subject. Of course I hadn't woken Tanya up. She didn't like it when I woke her up on normal days; I couldn't imagine how furious she would be if the first thing she woke up to today was me.

I was the Reminder.

"Isabella, I'm talking to you," Renee snapped. While this day was particularly worse for Tanya, no one could deny the effects it also had on my mother. The normally carefree and spirited woman awoke with a short temper and bitter attitude. Combined with the fights she had been having with Charlie for the past few months, she was only a few steps away from being as unbearable as Tanya. I couldn't blame her, though. Tanya may have lost her parents, but Renee lost a sister, too.

I remained silent. I was never really sure exactly how to maneuver over the eggshells, so I just concluded that I wouldn't hurt anybody if I didn't say a word. I only wished that I could have followed my advice _that_ night, before I abruptly and unknowingly broke the news to Tanya. It was no wonder why she hated me.

Renee carried on, "I have to work the evening shift, so I won't be able to go with Tanya to the cemetery after she gets home from school. I don't want her up there all by herself, so I want you to go with her in my place."

I took another bite, wondering how to rationally explain why her plan was a potential disaster.

_But moommm, I'll be the one six feet under if I even attempt to look at Tanya today._

It was true, but it was too much of a whiny teenager move to work on my parents. In my entire seventeen years of existence, my parents rarely surprised me. If there was one good thing that I could say about my parents, it was that they were predictable. I knew that they would tell me to grow up and force me to go with Tanya anyway because she "needed my support". Yeah right, more like she needed a punching bag. If I wanted to avoid accompanying Tanya, I needed to sound mature. I needed to sound rational. I needed to sound confident.

I cleared my throat, but only managed to whisper, "I d-don't think t-that's s-such a good i-idea." I sighed. A guinea pig has more confidence than me. When no one is around, I think I'll start practicing my panic squeals. At least I'll have an unlimited supply of carrots. Maybe I'll finally lose some weight.

Cold eyes turned to glare at me, "And why not?"

_Because she blames me_.

I refused to look up at her distant eyes, didn't want to see the desolation lurking behind them, didn't want to see the hate that she tried so hard to keep hidden behind distance and a mask of indifferent coldness.

_I think that maybe you blame me, too._

Renee sighed in aggravation, "Will you stop feeding your fat face for two damn seconds and answer me, Isabella." I dropped my toast, biting the inside of my cheek as she continued, "It's been eight years and you haven't been to their gravesite one time." She turned around and placed her hands on the kitchen counter, refusing to face me. For some reason, I felt a tiny little stab in my chest. It shouldn't have hurt me that my own mother couldn't look at me; I was used to people ignoring the silent lump in the corner. I watched as she ran her hands though her hair, her shoulders sagging in defeat, maybe even a little disappointment, too. "I think that it's time for you to get over whatever childish thing is going through your head and go pay your respects to your aunt and uncle. It's long overdue, don't you think?"

I dug my nails into my wrist. It didn't hurt. I had bitten the points down to their nubs.

"I don't know who you think you're talking to, but don't you be taking that tone with my daughter." I turned to see Charlie walking downstairs in his uniform and a gush of wind escaped my lungs in relief. Funny, I hadn't even known that I'd been holding my breath. Maybe if he hadn't come downstairs so soon I would have passed out from the lack of oxygen. Sure, I probably would have gotten a big bump on the back of my head after collapsing to the ground, but at least I wouldn't have to deal with the mess of today if I was unconscious.

"This is none of your business, _Charles_," Renee slammed her spatula down, "All I asked Isabella was if she had woken Tanya up, but she's been ignoring me all damn morning."

I cowered, sinking down into my chair as I waited for the inevitable fight.

"Tanya's a big girl. It's time that she learns how to set her own alarm clock and wake herself up."

My mother glared at my father. Well, at least it wasn't me that she was fighting with. Maybe if I was a better daughter, or maybe if I wasn't such a coward, I would have tried to deescalate the situation, but I wasn't a good daughter, and I certainly wasn't brave either. Good daughters didn't receive looks hatred and heartache from her parents when they thought that she wasn't looking. Brave people didn't cower away in a silent corner with the intention of leaving as little of a footprint on the world as possible. If only I wasn't so fat, my footprint really would be the size of a guinea pig.

Renee sneered, "She _does_ set her alarm clock, but she's a heavy sleeper and can't hear it. Maybe if you weren't so cheap, we could buy her a decent alarm clock that's loud enough to wake her."

Oh no, not the money troubles…

I cringed, sinking down even further in my chair to the point where my chin was on level with my plate of toast. If I wasn't frozen in fear, I would have leaned forward and continued eating. Stupid confrontation. It was going to force me to eat cold, butter-soggy toast.

"Maybe if you actually had a job and stopped depending on me for money, we wouldn't have to be so cheap," he glared at her, "Or better yet, maybe if you stopped buying those expensive designer clothes and purses and other unnecessary shit, we would have money to spend on things that we actually _need_. We wouldn't be three months behind on rent!"

A bitter and cold laugh echoed throughout the room, bouncing from each hallow and plain white wall. "Sure, blame it all on me. Excuse me for actually giving a damn about what I look like. I guess I'll just buy clothes from Wal-Mart and look like trailer trash from now on. Let's completely overlook the fact that maybe if you didn't piss away half of your paycheck on booze, money might not be so tight around here. You know what? Just forget it. I'm done. I'll go wake Tanya up myself."

I watched with wide eyes as she stormed up the stairs. If I was her, I wouldn't take such heavy steps. The old floor built in the seventies was starting to sag and it wouldn't take much to break through. If the stairs did fall though, where would my mother go? It wasn't like we had a basement for her to crash into. She would fall onto the cold and damp, grassy earth just like…

I nibbled on my fingers, digging into flesh due to my fingernail shortage.

I wondered if my mother was making a dig at me. Some of my favorite and most comfy clothes were from Wal-Mart. What about my clothes from the thrift store- was that another tally under the trash category for me? I mean, the store was called Vintage Thriftway, and vintage is fashionable, right?

"Don't worry about your mother, kiddo. It's going to be a rough day, that's all." I glanced up at Charlie, seeing him force a smile under the guise of reassurance, "I can see the worry written all over your face. I swear, if you keep going at the rate that you're going, I think you might be the youngest person to ever suffer from a heart attack."

Heart attack.

Death.

Two coffins buried six feet under the muddy and soggy earth at Forks Cemetery.

It was a poor joke made on an awful day, but as the sound of a can popping open echoed through the kitchen, I realized why my father didn't notice his mistake.

I narrowed my eyes at the silver and crimson can. "How many does that make for you today?" I would have narrowed my eyes at Charlie, too, but I wasn't much for eye contact these days. Eyes were expressive. Eyes conveyed guarded emotions, vindictive thoughts, haunting pain, and most commonly, silent accusations. Over the years, I came to the conclusion that ignorance truly is bliss and never bothered looking into my family's, or anyone else's for that matter, eyes.

He chugged nearly half of the contents of his beer before replying, "I came down earlier to have a few before the day started. I figured that I would need them for today." He took another deep gulp, "Looks like I was right, too."

I sighed, wishing that Charlie wouldn't drink so much. He came from a family of traditional military leaders. To him, emotion was the enemy. Expressing grief was weakness. Tears were the Devil. After _that_ night, sorrow and grief swarmed through our lives, taking Charlie by storm and drowning him in depression. He was the strong shoulder that everyone could cry on for the first few months, and even though he tried so hard to bat away any semblance of a threat to his emotional distance, eventually his haphazardly-built dam collapsed. What better way is there to ignore the pain prodding at your heart by drinking until it numbed into a dull, hollow ache? It was a natural human response to drink in response to pain. And Charlie was only human, not some cold and unfeeling robot, regardless of how hard he tried to be one.

"So what's bugging you, kid? You look even more antsy than usual." He downed the remaining contents of his beer before crushing it. He immediately rose in search of another one.

For some unknown reason, tears began to form in my eyes as a scorching lump climbed and lodged in my throat. I couldn't believe how drastically my family had changed over the years. People changed, I knew that. All living organism changed, but I never expected _this_ kind of change. We used to be happy. We used to be close. We used to be a decent family.

Now we were just awful roommates forced together under the same downtrodden roof.

I plucked at the loose flesh on my thumb that I had bitten. "Mom wants me to go to the cemetery with Tanya."

Charlie nodded, "Might be good for you, you know?"

I wanted to glare at him, but I knew better. Charlie wasn't a particularly mean drunk, but his drinking certainly destroyed his patience and bedside manners. It didn't take much to set Charlie off into an angry, tyrannical rant in which he spewed hatred and insults at you. Renee and Tanya experienced that side of him frequently. Luckily, I never had. Probably because I was an invisible doormat most of the time.

I sighed, "But I don't… I don't want to go." I took another vicious chunk out of my thumb, gagging as the taste of rust invaded my senses. I sighed. This was the third time this week that I had drawn blood. Even though I hated the crimson bodily fluid, I was becoming a bit desensitized to it. I still wasn't quite sure whether that was good or not.

"Tanya is…" I trailed off, wondering how to delicately explain my predicament, but realizing that it wasn't really possible unless I explained all of the emotional trauma that was bound so intricately into our lives. If I even attempted to initiate a sob story though, Charlie would surely snap into one of his moods. Obviously if he ignored his own feelings, he wouldn't care about someone else's. "It's just…I don't want to go to the cemetery. I don't like it because…" _Lie!_ "-because it's creepy." I glanced up at Charlie, seeing that he wasn't very convinced, so I tacked on, "And even if I did want to go, I certainly wouldn't go with Tanya. She's… unbearable."

"Well it's nice to hear that I'm such a big fucking problem for you, _Belly_," I spun around to find Tanya in the doorway sneering at me.

Hello shit, please meet my dear old friend, fan.

My eyes widened, my mouth gaping open, attempting to profusely spew out an apology. I grew aggravated when nothing but stutters and unintelligible babble came out. I glowered, hating that I was such an idiot, but then I realized that I was still staring at Tanya, making it seem like my self-hatred glare was directed at her. I glanced down at the table, wondering if I could smack my head against it a few times. It wasn't like my moronic brain had anything to lose.

"You know what? Fuck you, smelly Belly. Did you wash under your fat rolls this morning? I'm tired of having to inhale your sweaty stench every morning."

"Tanya, watch your mouth," my mother admonished from the bottom of the stairs.

If I wasn't so mortified, I would have laughed at her. Just this morning she had told me to stop stuffing my fat cheeks. Maybe it was only okay for her to insult me. Maybe I was her own personal verbal punching bag and she had to defend her territory before someone else wore me down first.

"Don't tell me what to do, _auntie_."

As if the argument between Renee and Tanya wasn't bad enough, Charlie was emboldened by his liquid tonic. "Goddamned it, you see this shit, Renee? You're the reason she's such a disrespectful little brat. You always let her have her way and now she thinks that it's okay to speak to us anyway she wants to." He turned towards Tanya, "Listen up you little snot, if you don't straighten up and fix your ways, you're going to be shipped off to a boarding school."

"Oh yeah?" She sneered at him, "And how, exactly, do you plan on paying for this boarding school?"

I began frantically glancing around, searching for any form of cover. Charlie hated when his money troubles were thrown into his face. It emasculated him knowing that he couldn't provide for his family like a true gentleman. The way we lived went against everything he had ever known, everything that his well-respected father and grandfather had taught him.

"You _bitch_," I sunk into my chair, closing my eyes as I pretended that I was the one being shipped off to the peaceful boarding school far, far away, "After everything that we've done for you, you have the nerve to say that? You'd be in jail right now if it wasn't for us. I've lost track of how many times we've had to bail you out of all the trouble you get into!"

"It's only been five times. Unlike you, I'm actually sober enough to remember." I glanced up at Tanya, noticing her glassy and bloodshot eyes. Sober? Yeah, she was most certainly not. It would only be a few more moments before the smoke drifted out into the hall, the smell finally alerting my parents to the fact that she was high yet again.

And another argument would ensue.

Renee was the closest to the stairs, so the scent reached her first and she took a few whiffs of the air. I prepared myself for more yelling, but was surprised when a rare moment of silence soothed my wounded and innocent by-standing ears caught in the middle of the battlefield.

"Something wrong, Renee?" Because drinking dulled the senses, it was rare for Charlie to be the first one to catch Tanya in the act. It was always Renee who alerted him of her misbehavior. I certainly wasn't going to do it, not while I still slightly valued my life. Tanya would smother me with a pillow if she discovered that I had snitched on her.

Actually, if she was feeling particularly vindictive, she would probably run me over with a Mack truck.

I glanced up in time to see Renee shaking her head. She remained silent. Even though I swore to never do it, I glanced into her eyes. She seemed disappointed and weary, but a hint of understanding was laced beneath. I covered my mouth to conceal my gasp, completely shocked that she hadn't ratted Tanya out. Maybe it was because my mother understood what we were all going through, and she understood that Tanya was only in search of a way to numb the searing and persistent pain, just like Charlie with his beer. Even though she was sometimes the cause of our pain, it was only because she was acting in response to her own. Our family was a vicious circle, each of us lashing out at others in attempt to lessen our own pain, but by hurting others, their identical response was lash out in turn, returning the pain back to us. We couldn't escape it. We never would.

Tanya scoffed, "Whatever. If you two are done bitching at me now, I'm going to school to get my education that you two are so keen on me getting." As she snatched her bag off the floor, she muttered, "Not like I'm smart enough to get into college anyway."

The front door slammed, and even though I knew that Tanya was going to do it, I still jumped. I sighed. I really was a coward.

**(…)**

I glanced down at my chicken nuggets. They were slightly cold, but as far as cafeteria food went, they were pretty good. It was certainly an improvement from the TV dinners served at home. I smothered a tyrannosaurus-shaped nugget in ketchup, absently wondering why high school students were fed animal-shaped food like preschoolers. Maybe because they possessed the same level of maturity.

_Will you stop feeding your fat face for two damn seconds?_

I froze.

_Fuck you, smelly Belly. Did you wash under your fat rolls this morning? _

I dropped my nugget, shoving the offending tray away from me. As I glared at the food, I shot a glance at Tanya across the room. A frustrated sigh escaped my lips. I wasn't going to let her affect me and I especially wasn't going to let her affect the way that I ate. I liked my food. Food tasted amazing and it made me happy. It was comforting and it didn't criticize or yell at me. It didn't talk back and wait for me to stutter out a hesitant response while I searched for the right people-pleasing words, only to judge me on my many imperfections once I turned my back. Food was a stark contrast from everything else in my life. I could trust food. Food was always there when I needed it. Food was actually the only semblance of a friend that I had.

As I stuffed my face with a vengeance, I continued to glare at Tanya. I didn't even care if she turned my way and caught me staring. Nope, I didn't care one bit.

_Yeah, right. You'll spin around so fast that loose papers will go shooting across the room. And then you'll apologize to the students whose homework you just sent flying away like the good little doormat that you are._

"Whoa, what did T-Rex do to piss you off so much?"

I stopped chewing, but was too frozen in shock to swallow the massive chunks of chicken nuggets in my cheeks. And here I was thinking that I was a cowardly guinea pig, but I'm actually a fat, food-storing hamster.

I slowly turned to find two emerald orbs glancing curiously at me.

_Swallow, you moron! _

A dry ball of poultry slithered down my throat as I blindly felt around for my soda. For some reason, I didn't want to look away in fear that he would be gone once I turned back.

"Edward. Freaking. Cullen."

I wished I wasn't so clumsy. I was convinced that I must have rolled down a flight of stairs as a kid and slammed my head against the wall during the entire flight down. It was really the only explanation for my stupidity. Why the _hell_ did I just wheeze out his name like some horny teenage fangirl?

He chuckled, so I assumed that I hadn't creeped him out _too_ much. Or maybe he was just better at hiding his emotions than most of the people that I knew. "Hello to you too, Bella Freaking Swan."

I flushed, awkwardly glancing around. I had never actually spoken to Edward before, and regardless of how attractive he was, I wanted to keep it that way. The green-eyed Adonis should never have to be in the presence of my disastrous socially awkward behavior. Why was he here, anyway? My eyes traveled across the cafeteria, landing on Tanya. Of course. I sighed, knowing that he was only going to ask me where my cousin was. Unlike sitting by the window like usual, she had relocated to an isolated corner. He probably couldn't find her and thought that I would know where she was.

For some reason, disappointment dragged down my features. I tried to hide it, though. Why did I care, anyway? I liked being alone and away from the judgmental stares of people that you couldn't trust or depend on. I tried to imitate my previous expression, hoping that he hadn't noticed my decline in mood. "Tanya's sitting over there." I pointed him over to the dark corner, resisting the urge to roll my eyes. Of course she would choose the dark and melancholy seat today. How cliché.

He nodded, but didn't move away like I had expected, "I know. I saw her on my way in here."

I could feel my eyes narrow in confusion. So then, what did he want? Even though I had limited interaction with people, I was at least aware of society's rules and it seemed a little rude to ask him why he was interrupting my pig fest. I wanted to continue eating, but I couldn't with his eyes on me. It was obvious that I ate, one look at me could tell anyone that, but I just didn't want him to further witness how disgusting I actually was. I cleared my throat, "So, um, did you n-need something?"

"Not really," he shook his head with a shrug, "I just wanted to talk with you."

I stiffened.

Something bad was about to happen. People didn't just stop to talk to Smelly Belly with the Stinky Swan's Bird, especially not people like Edward Cullen. I wanted to tell him to leave me alone and spew a few swear words at him, give him an ounce of the hate that I received every single day of my existence before confidently striding away.

But I couldn't.

My lips clamped shut and refused to open in fear that I would offend the beautiful creature before me. Porcelain skin. Eyes that glimmered in shades ranging from emerald to jade. Bronze locks of hair that sparkled in the sun, showcasing copper highlights. Fit and trim muscles lurking beneath his designer clothes.

I was the grotesque contrast. Pasty flesh. Murky mud-colored eyes sinking into the dark circles beneath like quicksand. Flat and lifeless brown hair falling limp down my back. Piles of fat bulging out of secondhand clothes littered in rips and tears. Standing next to Edward, I felt even more self-conscious than usual, even though I didn't think that it was possible for my self-esteem to receive further damage.

"I was just thinking about how even though I see you so much, I don't really know anything about you," I glanced at him with a look of both confusion and speculation, but he continued, "I've been over your house so many times, but I've never talked to you before. Never even seen you, really," he chuckled, "It's almost like you keep yourself barricaded up in your room."

_That is exactly what I do, thank you. The more time I spend in my room, the less time there is to spend with my awful family._

"You've been to my house?" Tanya was a moron. She knew that no people, especially not boys, were allowed over at our house when Renee and Charlie were away, and trust me when I say that they were away quite often. It was almost like they were always working. With as much time that they spent working, we should have been millionaires.

His eyes widened, obviously realizing that he was caught with no way to recover. "Oh, I-I thought-"

I shook my head, "It's fine. I'm not going to snitch or anything." I couldn't believe that I had been oblivious to the fact that Edward had been in my house. If Tanya could be that sneaky with a guy, why couldn't she pull off the same with her drug use? It was almost like she wanted to get caught, like she wanted the attention.

A lazy smirk graced his features, "That's pretty nice of you to do, Bella."

"It's Isabella," I bit back in irritation. It was probably the closest emotion I would ever feel to anger; cowards didn't get angry- anger ran the risk of confrontation, which is most certainly something that I avoided at all costs. How dare he call me by that nickname that my parents had given me from when we were actually happy together? It was one of the few good memories I had with them; I wasn't about to allow him to taint that.

"Oh, sorry about that," he took a seat beside me and I stiffened in response. He was too close. No one got that close to me anymore, physically or emotionally. I tried to discreetly distance myself, but who was I kidding? A fat hippo can never silently move across the field without alerting the blood hungry lions.

As I scooted my chair to the edge of our table, the metal legs screeched across the linoleum. Edward quirked an eyebrow, but thankfully remained silent.

Too bad his followers didn't have the same response.

"What's the matter, smelly belly? You think you're too good for Edward?" I really had to thank Tanya for spreading that nickname around school.

Victoria Howard. I wasn't exactly sure why she despised me, considering I had never spoken two words to her, but I had the sneaking suspicion that if she ever got the opportunity, she would slowly end my life in tortuous agony by ripping off my limbs and burning them into black ash. I kept my eyes glued to the white table that appeared gray because of the coat of dust covering it. It was disgusting, especially considering how some kids ate dropped food directly off of these table. My mouth wrinkled in distaste.

"Who the fuck do you think you're making that face at?"

Me and my stupid facial expressions. I was just going to start wearing a bag over my head. It would not only prevent people from misinterpreting my expressions, but also shield innocent people from my hideousness. Or maybe it was a better idea to cover my head with a pillow because I was almost certain that Victoria was going to punch me.

Edward suddenly rose, striding over to her and wrapping an arm around her waist. "Vicky, have I told you how sexy you look today?"

It was like I didn't exist anymore. Her cheeks tinted with a cute blush and she nibbled on her bottom lip, emitting a nervous giggle, "Oh, well, this is just a new dress that I decided to throw on this morning." She glanced up at him with hesitant eyes. "Do you really like it?" He nods. She beams. If I hadn't just witnessed her vicious attack on me not even a second ago, I would have thought that she was the sweetest girl in school.

He pressed his lips against her ear, whispering something, and then they headed for the exit without another word or glance at me.

Just like always.


	3. The Beginning of the End

**III. The Beginning of the End**

_**Warning, there are derogatory slurs in this chapter that may be offensive to some. **_

**Edward**

"That stupid bitch, who the hell does she think she is?"

I glance up at Tanya, wondering what brought about her foul mood. Well, besides the obvious. It's the first time that she's spoken all day and they weren't really words that I had anticipated, but then again, what was I expecting? I had known Tanya since I moved here freshman year and it took me less than a day to realize that she responded with anger, not grief.

"Who this time- Jessica, Lauren, Victoria?" Those are the top three girls on her list of _bitches-I'd-like-to-punch_. There isn't a day that goes by where she doesn't threaten at least one of them. Out of the three, she's nailed two, and if Victoria wasn't so cleverly evasive, I imagine that Tanya would be three for three.

Me personally, well, I've been successful enough to nail all three, but of course I'm talking about it in a completely different sense.

I see Tanya glaring at some student across the cafeteria. I generally don't take much interest in her mood swings, but because I need to keep a closer eye on her today, I turn and see her eyes intently focused on Bella.

This is new.

It's difficult to describe the relationship between the cousins, but if I had to pick a word, I would say distant at best. The only time I've ever seen Tanya acknowledge her cousin is when some other student is talking about Bella and they turn towards Tanya, obviously expecting her to provide some inside information.

And she does not disappoint.

Thanks to Tanya, Bella Swan is known throughout the school as Smelly Belly. Some other creative student saw the perfect opportunity in the last name of Swan and tacked on Stinky Bird. The only way I even knew Bella's real name was because when no one was around, Tanya didn't bother to call her by the nicknames.

I take a sip from my orange juice, wondering if I should even ask. I do, of course. I always do, even though it's rare for Tanya to divulge any information. Too personal. "What's wrong?"

She doesn't remove her gaze from Bella, her eyes hardening as she grits her teeth. "I never asked anyone to go…" her voice cracks, but she shakes her head in dismissal, taking a deep breath and holding it in a few moments before exhaling, "I never asked anyone to go to the… to _that_ place with me."

It only takes a few seconds for it to register that she's talking about the cemetery. I'm unsure what to say, but Tanya doesn't really need me to say anything. She continues as if she's talking to herself, trying to convince herself, "I don't _need _anyone to go to the cem- to go _there_ with me. I'm not some weak and pathetic being who has to…" she grabs the roots of her hair and tugs, a habit which, whether or not she likes it, she has in common with Swan, "I don't fucking avoid the cemetery like a little bitch. My parents are… dead." She cringes as if the word inflicts physical pain. Maybe it does. "They're dead and nothing is going to change that, but at least I have the balls, the _decency_ to go and visit them on their anniversary." She continues to glare at an oblivious Bella gorging herself on chicken nuggets. I cringe, completely disgusted by the display. It's no wonder why Stinky Bird was a social outcast.

For the first time since her bitter rant began, Tanya glances up. Blue eyes stare back at me. Innocence and vulnerability, loneliness and misery- the emotions are swirling in her eyes, and I want to look away, want to give Tanya the emotional distance that she craves, but I can't. For the first time in my entire life, I'm finally seeing someone as broken as me, someone who understands what it's like to be surrounded by a million people and still feel utterly alone.

"Bella has never even set foot in the cemetery, not one time in the entire eight years. She didn't even go to the funeral." Her voice is soft, tired, but she quickly shakes her head and recovers, her voice hardening, "She cowered away in her room the entire week. She always cowers away, but then she has the nerve to talk about me behind our back? How dare she call me unbearable? I may be a bitch, but at least I'm not some fat and invisible fucking lump. I'm living my life, but all she can do is play the victim card?"

I glance across the cafeteria, inspecting the loner in the corner. Aside from being revolting, Swan seemed pretty innocent, but then again, I knew from experience that things weren't always what they seemed to be behind closed doors.

_He_ was the perfect fucking example of that. _He_ was the intelligent and articulate professional, handsome and polite gentleman to the general public, but behind closed doors his true colors were unveiled.

Black.

Black Soul. Black heart. Black and blue all over. His intentions were dark. His ebony eyes narrowing with venomous poison as he prepared to strike.

I suddenly find myself glaring along with Tanya at the lump in the corner. I scoff, "Stupid pretentious bitch. Look at her sitting alone like she's so much better than everyone else, like she can't be contaminated by our filth. I hate when people try and put up an innocent front for outside eyes."

Tanya nods, "And you know her piece of shit father is always on her side. I came downstairs, heard her call me an unbearable bitch, and then when I tried to defend myself, Charlie fucking threatened to ship me off to boarding school."

I felt my fists tighten in response to mentions of Charlie- the biggest, and probably drunkest, asshole to ever grace the title of Chief of Police. He was exactly like _him_, all nice and responsible to the residents of Forks, but behind the privacy of his own doors, he morphed into a monster.

"She's been sliding by for too long. It's time for her to pay."

I glance up at Tanya, seeing a wicked grin stretch from one cheek to the other. The last time I saw that look was when we got arrested for breaking into Mike Newton's house to fill his room with gay pornography and dildos. The arrogant prep already acted like he had a stick shoved up his ass, we just thought it would be a good idea to make it a bit more literal. Besides, he should have known better than to spread around rumors that Tanya slept with him. Did she really look like the type of girl who was just going to let something like that slide?

I nod, contemplating if we had any new tricks to pull. "Ah, so are we going to cut off her beloved locks of hair, steal her clothes from her gym locker and glue some feathers to them, or do you have a better idea?"

"Let's break her heart."

I glance warily at her, clearly taken aback.

I'm not a good person. I know that. I've got _his_ blood in me, and even though I'll never be as sinister or cold as him, I'm still not a good person.

But I can't help but think of all the times that we've enacted revenge, it's been more along the lines of practical jokes. It was humiliating and got the point across, but it didn't cause any deep harm. Breaking someone's heart seemed personal… and damaging… and wrong. Really wrong.

Almost as wrong as what my own flesh and blood did to me.

Tanya noted my hesitant expression, but began launching into her master plan, a sign that she wasn't going to back off. "Why is she allowed to pretend like nothing ever happened, but every day I'm forced to go through hell? _Oh, she's so smart, she's so polite, she's so compassionate_- it's all complete bullshit. Even when we were little, her life was made. If it wasn't for her, I wouldn't be going through any of this." She glances up, her eyes streaked with crimson. She's upset. She might claim that her eyes were streaked with anger, but I knew better. I knew that look, had seen that look reflected many times, knew the silent pain that lurked behind that look.

Just as I'm about to say something, maybe do something_, _anything to comfort her, she tugs at her hair, shaking her head and clearly dismissing my sympathy. "If it wasn't for her, I wouldn't have to live in some musty and cramped house where it's Charlie's mission to make my ears bleed every single day. If it wasn't for her, people wouldn't stare at me in pity when they think no one is looking and call me the 'poor little orphan girl'. If it wasn't for _her_, I certainly wouldn't have to visit my parent's gravesite today and every other day for the rest of my life!" Her voice is screeching and she's so close to hysteria that I fear a teacher is going to approach and remove her from the cafeteria, but of course that wouldn't happen.

Everyone is terrified of Tanya, frightened by her false hardened exterior, too weary to approach and unveil the fragile girl hidden beneath the darkness. She sighs and quiets down, but her voice still quivers, "She _deserves_ to have her heart broken because my parents are gone and my heart is-" she freezes, her icy blue eyes wide and vulnerable before she realizes her mistake and shuts down a second too late.

"Broken," I finish for her.

She hangs her head in shame, obviously disgusted at herself for portraying weakness. I sigh, knowing that whether or not my conscience was in complete agreement, I was going to do this for Tanya. She was the closest friend that I had. Despite having our own personal problems that we were reluctant to open up about, demons that we were unwilling to confront, we at least had the comfort of knowing that there was one person in the world who kept us from experiencing the true feeling of complete loneliness.

Tanya and I may not have been able to depend on other people, but we would always have each other's backs.

"What did you have in mind?"

She smirked and I found myself wondering if she knew all along that I would consent to her plan. She was so good at manipulating people; clearly I wasn't immune, but I hoped that for the sake of my nonexistent trust, she wouldn't fuck me over.

No, unlike _him_, Tanya wasn't a disgusting excuse for a human being. She was damaged and corrupted, tainted by an unlucky past just like me, but we were still decent human beings.

_So it's just standard behavior for decent people to plan the demise of an innocent girl?_

But Swan's not innocent, and if I have to convince my conscience of that every hour of the day, I will.

"Just for the sake of fun, how about we turn this into a little bet?" I glance up at her, clearly intrigued. "It's pretty simple. You become her friend, earn her trust, make her fall in fairytale love with you, fuck her-" she pauses for a second, her lips pursing in thought, "Actually no, she would probably say something cheesy like _make love_, and then you dump her in the trash like the rotten piece of chicken that she is."

I roll my eyes, "How very dramatic of you, but that metaphor doesn't even make sense."

"It's a simile, bitch. Besides, a chicken seemed fitting considering how cowardly she is."

I stare blankly at her for a few seconds before rolling my eyes again, "Alright, I've got it. Love her, fuck her, dump her. Very simple, but where's the fun that you're talking of? I'm pretty sure that Swan's not going to be a good lay."

I suddenly feel a warm hand trail up my thigh, rubbing up and down, going higher with each pass.

"Dump her by graduation and I'll be sure to repay you with my gratitude." She licks the length of my ear, gently nibbling before whispering, "_Complete_ gratitude."

Tanya and I's relationship, well, it was a little complicated to say the least. We were friends, very good friends, so good that we occasionally fooled around to alleviate our body's needs. Yet we never went all of the way, but I couldn't blame her; I wouldn't want my first time to be with someone like me.

Maybe it was disgusting and perverted of me, but I wanted to be her first. Most people didn't think of me in a very good light. Most people would never even remember the poor little boy who relocated from Alaska to Forks after being adopted by the small town's beloved doctor. With Tanya, the first and only person that I had almost grown to trust since _him_, I wanted her to remember me like I would always remember her. And while I was a fuck up at practically everything else, sex was the one thing I could actually do right.

I wanted at least one person in the entire world to have good memories of me.

When she removes her hand, it takes every single strand of my willpower to hold in a whimper. Obviously I don't do a good job because she smirks at me, "The sooner you get this done, the sooner I can repay you." She tilts her head in the direction of Swan, "Now go greet your new hopeless obsession."

**(…)**

_Don't cringe, don't cringe, don't cringe…_

I silently repeat this to myself as I trek across the cafeteria, the walk being entirely too short. After my tenth repeat, I'm standing directly in front of Swan, but she doesn't seem to notice as she's clearly too distracted by her chicken nuggets.

I take a whiff of the air before making my presence known.

Well, she may eat like a pig, but at least she doesn't smell like one. In fact, she's quite odorless, probably part of her attempts to remain invisible and appear innocent. Her guise doesn't fool me, though.

"Whoa, what did T-Rex do to piss you off so much?" It's charming and effortless. A little cheesy if I'm being completely honest, but it never fails to make the girls swoon. Humor and wit is the way to a girl's heart and, luckily for me, I had the good looks to go with it. If there was one thing I could thank _him_ for, it was good genetics.

She freezes, her cheeks puffed out with poultry. Big brown eyes stare at me, almost fearfully, like she thinks I'm going to hit her or something. I want to be offended, but then I realize that she _should_ fear me. Her heart is going to be shattered into a million pieces and I'm the one concealing the sledgehammer.

I see her gulp just before she wheezes out my name like I'm the celebrity staring in her sex dreams.

_Don't cringe, don't cringe, don't cringe…_

I want to turn around and tell Tanya to cancel the deal, but I think better of it. Tanya needs this. Swan deserves this.

I suddenly hear a meek voice point out, "Tanya's sitting over there." I glance up and see Swan trying her best to keep the frown off her face, but she's failing miserably. It's clear that she's disappointed, but what could she possibly…?

It hits me.

Swan is disappointed because she thinks I'm only using her to get to Tanya. This is true, but not in the way that she thinks. For all she knows, she's going to be the center of my world for the next few weeks.

I make small talk, designing some ploy about how I never see her and I have the desire to get to know her better when I accidentally let it slip that I've been in her house. Now it's my turn to freeze, having absolutely no idea how to recover. I'm brainstorming ways to beg for Tanya's forgiveness when Swan surprises me.

"It's fine. I'm not going to snitch or anything."

Of course she could be lying, but something tells me that she genuinely is going to keep her mouth shut. It's something in her eyes, I think. As dark and muddy as they are, I fail to see any hidden malice there. I honestly have no idea why she would advocate secrecy, though. She doesn't get along with her cousin at all. You would think that she would be dying to enact some form of revenge.

I mask my surprise with a smirk. All of the girls call it a crooked smile, too romantic and lovestruck to see it for what it actually is- a devious and deceitful smirk. "That's pretty nice of you to do, Bella."

For some reason, that pisses her off. Just like with her disappointment, she tries to mask her irritation, but horribly fails. Her nostrils flare, the skin around her lips tightens, and her eyes narrow infinitesimally. Her voice is clipped when she declares, "It's Isabella."

I take a seat beside her, attempting to further our friendly bond, but apparently she finds me disgusting because she scoots away. I'm annoyed, but I quirk a playful eyebrow at her. Fucking prude, I wonder when the last time a boy got within twenty feet of her was. She should be grateful that someone like me is even talking to her.

Obviously I'm not the only one offended by her behavior because Victoria comes to my defense, "What's the matter, smelly belly? You think you're too good for Edward?" Her hip is jutted out and I find myself entranced by the short, form-fitting dress she's wearing; it's like an extra layer of skin. Did I mention that the fabric matched her fiery red hair and crimson lips?

I'm so distracted by the scenarios in my head that I completely tune out Swan and Vicky's argument. I already have a vague idea of how things would turn out anyway. Victoria may be hot, but she's also a hateful bitch. Swan is the coward who never defends herself. There's no way she's coming out as the victor.

After a few minutes, I can't take it anymore. The fantasies running around in my head need to become a reality so I stride over to Victoria, grinning at her, "Vicky, have I told you how sexy you look today?"

She blushes, but it's not nearly as hideous as Swan's flush. She begins explaining her outfit, but I don't really care. I brush my lips against her ears, "You look so hot right now; I don't even want to take that dress off of you. How about I just fuck you against the wall while you're still wearing it?" 

Just as I predicted, she beams at the idea and I'm not sure who is dragging who out of the cafeteria as we race towards the nearest empty room.

**(…)**

I walk into my next class as a very happy man.

As I take my seat, the bell rings and Banner launches into his lecture. I glare at him, mentally warning the bastard to not ruin my good mood.

"Good morning class, today is the beginning of the end." Why does Mr. Banner have to be so dramatic? It's the first day of the fourth and final quarter. It's official- in just nine weeks I am free of this town and all of the associated fuckery that comes with it. I will put on my cap and gown, walk down the aisle, snatch my diploma, and move away to a big city full of self-absorbed people that aren't nosey enough to pry into the life of the boy new to the area. I'll finally achieve the peace and privacy that I've been craving for years.

But first I have to pass this class.

Wanting to deviate a little from the standard high school schedule, I decided to opt out of Biology and take Psychology as my final science credit instead. It's a college level class full of seniors with only a couple of juniors laced throughout. Bella just so happens to be one of those underclassmen.

A fly is buzzing around my head and I'm devising a plan on how to discreetly swat it away when I happen to glance up, catching Swan's brown eyes focused on me. Huh, I wonder if this is a recurring pastime or if it's only a recently developed behavior. Regardless, I smirk and flash a little half-wave.

She flushes that obnoxious blush, crimson painting every inch of her body. It's like rosacea or some other shit. She should go get that checked out by a doctor.

_Don't cringe, don't cringe, don't cringe…_

I focus on Banner again in the hopes of finding a distraction. "In order to end the year with a big bang, I'm assigning a final project." Despite being an advanced course, child-like groans echo throughout the room. "Oh hush, you didn't let me finish. It's a final project to be shared between you and a partner." Nods of acquiescence are shared, people glancing across the room to make eye contact and silently plan partnerships before Banner adds, "I'll be planning your groups, of course." Groans again.

I glance across the room again, observing Bella as she stares directly ahead and nibbles on her lip. I never really noticed it before, but she's more anxious than the entire class combined. With every noise or movement in the room, she flinches infinitesimally, creeping lower and lower into her seat. It's pretty fucking pathetic.

"Alright, so I've placed all of the girl's names in this hat. I want all of the boys to line up and pick out a name. Whoever you draw is your partner- no switching with someone else."

I'm in no hurry to get in line, so I wind up somewhere in the middle. Although I don't want to spend any more time than necessary with Swan, I know that this is the perfect opportunity to put the plan into motion. Not only would I have plenty of time for her to fall in love with me, but everyone says that she's freakishly smart. The project would be an easy A.

Needless to say, when I draw a completely repulsive partner, I'm seriously tempted to toss that bitch back into the ocean of names and fish out another one.

"Mr. Cullen?" Mr. Banner is looking at me expectantly.

I feel the corners of my mouth draw up in distaste, "Jessica Stanley."

I hear Newton groan behind me, "Man, I wanted to work with my girl." He glances over at her, frowning apologetically. He was so infatuated. I wondered what he would do if he knew that just last week she had practically jumped me after gym class?

"Oh, how sad for you Mr. Newton." Mr. Banner's disinterest earns a few chuckles from the class. "Now draw."

If I wasn't horrified by the events that followed, I would have laughed at the comical expression on Mike's face as he drew his name. "No. Fucking. Way."

"Mr. Newton, that lang-"

"Fucking_ Isabella Swan_?" He glances at Mr. Banner, a mixture of repulsion and disbelief on his face, "Are you seriously going to make me work with that rotten bird?"

The entire class is laughing with the exception of two people- Mr. Banner and Bella. Banner looks pissed, infuriated actually. I'm almost positive that Newton is going to get suspended for his outburst.

As for Bella, part of me doesn't even want to look at her, but out of sheer morbid curiosity, I turn and watch as she sinks down into her chair. She's viciously gnawing on her lip and her face is that disgusting crimson color again, whether it's from embarrassment or if she's about to burst into tears, I'm not sure. Probably both.

She's staring straight ahead, glancing at the ground, but as if she can feel my eyes on her, she looks up. I'm not sure what I'm expecting- maybe a glare or a few tears, but what I get shocks the hell out of me. I recognize it immediately, having frequently worn that expression whenever _he_ was around.

Hopeless.

Swan had given up.

And for some reason, that pissed me off.

"Newton, shut the fuck up and stop trying to pretend that you actually have a girlfriend. Everyone obviously knows that you're a faggot. You really think we would forget about all those dildos and gay porn you had in your room and locker?"

"That was a set up!" His voice screeched in a soprano tone, obviously not doing anything to help his case.

"That's enough!" Banner slammed his hand down on his desk, effectively silencing the room. "That type of offensive language will not be tolerated in this classroom. This is not a jungle, nor a zoo. Now if you boys want to save yourself a trip to the principal's office and a week's suspension, I suggest that you apologize to each other." He turned expectantly to Newton, and him being the weak bitch that he was, he launched into an apology.

"I'm sorry for calling Isabella stinky bird." He rolled his eyes, not even bothering to look at Bella while he apologized.

Mr. Banner turned towards me, but I just returned his look with indifference. There was no way in hell I would apologize to anyone, especially not Newton. Clearly Mr. Banner wasn't going to ease off as he sighed, "It's your turn, Edward."

I shrug, bluntly declaring, "I'm not apologizing."

"Apologize or else I'll send you to the principal's office," he threatened.

"Fine," I snap, turning towards Newton, "Dear queer, I'm sorry that I didn't punch you in the mouth for being a complete fucking moron, but if you meet me after school, I'll gladly make it up to you."

The class begins laughing at him, much like how they were laughing at Bella, and now it's his turn to flush like an idiot. I smirk at my small victory, but it's short lived as Banner snatches a hall pass off his desk and shoves it into my chest.

"Principal's office, now," he seethes.

I roll my eyes, glancing over at Bella. She's glancing curiously at me and I wonder whether this means I'm officially on her good side. I need to be sure, so I glance at Banner in disgust, "Fine, send me to the principal's office for doing your job. Why don't you pull your alien-shaped head out of your ass and start protecting your students like you're supposed to?"

I turn towards Bella, watching her eyes widen in surprise.

_Come on, Bella, give me a sign…_

I feel like the girl has radar or something, because as soon as I look at her, she turns towards me and locks eyes with me. It's impossible, I know, but it seems like her muddy brown eyes have lightened a shade. She blushes again, but this time it's paired with a hesitantly tight-lipped, yet gratefule smile.

It was official; I was well on my way into Isabella Swan's heart.

As well as on my way to the principal's office.

**I tried to make this as less redundant as possible, but I thought it was important to have Edward's point of view during his first talk with Bella. Generally, though, I won't re-write anything unless I feel it's extremely important, in case you were wondering.**


	4. The Lions and the Lamb

**IV. The Lions and the Lamb**

**Bella**

"Did you hear about Cullen?"

"Yeah, I can't believe he was actually standing up for Stinky Bird."

"Oh please, he wasn't standing up for that piece of shit. Edward hates Mike and he just happened to see the perfect opportunity in Banner's class to verbally assault him."

I don't need to turn around to see Victoria's condescending smirk as she explains her conclusion to Jessica and Lauren. I can feel her icy blue eyes scorching fiery pits into the back of my skull as her crimson hair dances in the wind, waiting, _daring_ me to turn and challenge her. She's the lioness. I'm the slow, stupid, and stinky lamb. Maybe if I'm lucky, my odor will deter her from devouring me.

Nope, I've got too much meat on my bones for her to ignore.

I keep my pace slow and steady as I continue my trek across the parking lot, feigning total ignorance of the conversation occurring less than a foot behind me. Just a few more steps, and then I'll be within the safe confinement of my truck. I'll have a full twenty minutes of peace and quiet as I drive home, thirty if I drive below the speed limit.

I finally reach my old and faithful truck, sighing as the rusty door creaks open. All I want to do is rest my head on the steering wheel and take a deep breath, but first I need to get out of here. I turn the ignition, hoping that today isn't one of the days when my truck is ill, coughing and sputtering as it fails to come to life.

"I can't believe you drive this hunk of scrap metal."

In my entire seventeen years of existence, I had never known that I was capable of reaching 200 decibels.

"Holy fuck, would you shut the hell up?"

In all honesty, I'm not exactly sure why I'm still screaming loud enough to pierce Beethoven's eardrums. It's as if all the words that I've swallowed and locked away all of these years are racing towards the exit, reverberating with joy as they climb up my throat to claim their forbidden freedom, pleading to be heard.

I suddenly feel a hand slap over my shriek-box, "Bella, you're going to get security called on me and they will suspend me," grumbling, he adds, "Again."

Edward. Freaking. Cullen.

I'm going to kill him.

He removes his hand, and to my credit, I've drastically calmed down. My heart may be racing, but my outward appearance is completely shot and worn down. Cold beads of sweat are dripping down my pasty complexion, my eyes sagging shut as I don't even attempt to fight the faintness washing over me. I'm desperately begging for my conscious to succumb to darkness so that I can forget about today. Forget about everything, if I'm being completely honest.

"Why the fuck were you screaming like I had a knife or something?"

He has the nerve to glare at me, and if my nerves weren't completely wrecked, I probably would have cowered away from the intensity of his emerald gaze.

But because my body is polluted with adrenaline and my thought processes are hazy, and because I'm such a stupid lamb, I return his glower, "The better question is why the fuck are you in my car?"

He scoffs like it's a stupid question, "Because I wanted to talk to you. Besides, if you're so scared of being attacked, why don't you lock your damn doors?"

Because no one would bother. No one would bother to hotwire such an outdated piece of junk. No one would bother to steal the few coins I kept in the cup holder for emergencies. And because no one would bother to be bothered by the useless and practically invisible lump in the corner.

"Because-" I shake my head, criticizing myself for thinking that I needed to explain myself to him. He obviously didn't care; he was just trying to be a smartass. "Look, it doesn't matter. What did you want so badly that you had to break into my car?"

"Well fuck, if I had known that scaring the shit out of you would yank you out of doormat mode, I would have done it sooner."

I can feel a truckload of rubber bands wrapping around my corpse, tightening inch by inch and cutting off my oxygen supply before finally snapping apart, stinging by body until it burns with agony.

I'm indifferent. I'm invisible. I'm immune to the world that surrounds me.

It's better this way. I _like_ it this way.

This way, I won't get hurt.

I stiffen, "I-um, well, I-I…"

Edward narrows his eyes in confusion, "I was only messing with you, no need to freak out or anything." I ignore him. My leg begins bouncing, shaking the entire cab because of its massive size. He glares at me, "Would you stop it? People are going to think we're fucking."

I flush, looking out of my window in an attempt to hide my obnoxious reaction. As I spot Mike and Jessica leaving the parking lot, I realize why Edward Cullen is in my truck. I untuck my hair from behind my ear and let it fall in front of my face as a protective shield as I awkwardly shift in my seat, muttering, "Thanks for what you did back in psych class. You didn't have to, but it was nice…" He nods, but doesn't make a move to get out of my truck. Aggravation begins to creep in. Sure, he stood up for me, and yeah I'm grateful, but was he expecting some kind of grand speech? I never asked him to stand up for me, and I had no idea why he decided to do so today. Mike's insults were nothing compared to what I usually got. If I'm being honest with myself, Victoria was right. Mike did something today that particularly got on Edward's nerves and psych class was the perfect opportunity for revenge. He gets to belittle Newton and look like the knight in shining armor. It's a win-win. If there was ever a girl at Forks High that didn't want to date Edward Cullen, it's probably changed by now.

"Well, uh, if you don't mind, I kind of need to get home now…"

He cocks his head to the side, only taking a few seconds before a lazy smirk graces his face, "You thought I only came by for an apology? Maybe make you feel guilty because I got suspended for defending you?" I flush, giving myself away as he chuckles, "Jesus Bella, I'm not that big of a douche."

I'm too ashamed for offending him that I don't even correct his nickname usage. "I, well, uh… what are you here for, then?" My cheeks are scorching. Why must I be so damn awkward?

His chuckles quiet before he looks out the passenger window, obvious insecurity flashing across his features. "It was a stupid idea," he glances at me with a forced smile, "You know what? I'll just go. I'm sorry for bothering you." As he reaches for the doorknob, I see a hand reach out to stop him.

Huh, that hand looks familiar. Chubby fingers, pasty flesh, nonexistent fingernails.

I feel my lips moving, "No, it's okay. I guess I owe you for helping me out back there."

When the hell did I lose control of my body?

He glances hesitantly at me, flashing a boyish smile. I realize that I like it so much better than his smirk. "Well, you know I got suspended…" I nod. "Well, Mike got in trouble, too. He's got detention and he has to work alone instead of with a partner." I nod again, sighing in relief as I realize that I'll be able to work in peaceful isolation for this project. "Well, the principal was pretty fucking pissed off at me for what I did, but he thought I had good intentions."

"That's nice…" If he didn't want me to praise him, what was the point of his speech?

He glances at me, sporting a hesitant smile, "Well, I pointed out to Banner that while it's good that Newton has no partner, it's unfair that you have to work alone as a result, so he said that if it's okay with you, we can be partners."

No.

Just no.

I wanted to shoot down his offer with a machine gun, but I knew that was an awful thing to do, especially after he had earned a suspension for defending me. His parents were probably going to kill him.

I could do this. I _should_ do this. Edward defended me in front of an entire class, not giving the slightest care about the social or scholar repercussions. Besides, Edward was going to be out of school for the next five days. By the time he came back, the project would practically be done. The least I could do was work hard so that he earned a good grade.

"Alright," I fiddled with the loose threads on my shirt, refusing to look up, "We can be partners."

He beamed at me, finally reaching for the handle. As he slid out of my truck, he glanced over his shoulder, "I'll be by your house tomorrow afternoon." My mouth fell open, to which he smirked at in response, "You didn't think that I was going to make you work on the project alone, did you?"

I couldn't believe that I had deemed Victoria the lion. Compared to Edward, she was a penguin.

**This is a lot shorter than usual, but I think I might start posting shorter chapters so that you get an update quicker, unless you guys like longer chapters. I'm still debating, so if you have a preference, feel free to share :)**


	5. Dark Fate

**V. Dark Fate**

"Hey Bells, how was school?"

I jumped, startled by Charlie's close proximity as I first walked into the house.

School? Well, it started off horribly, but somehow the day brightened when Edward Cullen decided to stand up for me against Newton. The only catch is that I have to deal with his nerve-wracking presence for at least a week to work on our psychology project together. It's a surprise that I'm not having a complete mental freaking breakdown right now, but maybe I'm still in shock.

"It was fine, dad; just the usual."

"Good," he nodded, "Good, good."

I noticed that Charlie was freshly showered and shaven, wearing his best pair of pants and a designer shirt that my mother had bought him ages ago. As I took a few sniffs of the air, I concluded that my day couldn't possibly get any more bizarre. Cologne swirled around him, only masking a faint amount of alcohol. Could it be that Charlie hadn't had anything to drink since this morning?

I raised an eyebrow, "You look nice. What's the occasion?"

As I saw guilt and fear flash in his eyes, I began to doubt my ability to identify emotions. For what possible reasons would Charlie feel guilty?

He tugged at his collar, struggling to loosen it as tiny beads of moisture formed on his forehead, "Oh, uh yeah, it's just something down at the station. As police chief, I figured that I ought to look nice," he forced a smile, avoiding my eyes.

Clearly something was wrong if Charlie morphed from a belligerent drunk into a nervous and sober person. So, for the first time since I could remember, I decided to be a good daughter.

"Are you okay?"

His eyes snapped to mine, narrowed in irritation as his face flushed with anger, "Yes Isabella, I'm fine. It's just adult stuff, completely official police business," he huffed in aggravation, "Since when did you become so goddamned nosey?"

I suddenly felt my back hit the wall, startled that my feet were unconsciously backing away from Charlie. I was dumbfounded. Charlie _never_ used that tone with me. _That_ tone was reserved for Renee and Tanya.

I gnawed on my lip, clueless as to how to redeem myself from such a low level. Charlie practically despised Renee and Tanya, where as he could actually tolerate me, for whatever reason. Maybe because I gave him the silence that he craved for. If there was one thing that I was good at, it was at ignoring people, or rather, allowing them to ignore me.

I was at a complete loss for words. But even if I knew what to say, there wasn't a chance in the world I would stand up to Charlie, no matter how much his snap hurt me.

Did this mean that he hated me now, too?

Was he just like everyone else?

"I, uh, I should go do homework." I slipped past him, shrugging him off as he reached to grab my sleeve. I needed to escape. I needed to get to my room, shut the door, and pretend that I was living in complete solitude, invisible and oblivious to everyone and everything around me.

"Bella wait," he called out as I reached the top of the stairs. I froze, like a chicken, even though I should have ignored him in a fit of resentment and furiously stalked off to my room. All I was trying to do was be a good daughter and make sure everything was okay, how dare he call me nosey? I was fuming.

So why couldn't I act like it?

Instead, I merely turned around and gazed at him with a neutral expression, praying that I didn't do anything else to upset him.

"Bella, I'm…,"

I stiffened. Was he seriously about to apologize? If he did, I was going to grab a crab out of the ocean that I was drowning in and let it pinch me, because this day was obviously a dream that my mind conjured up to torture me. I held my breath, waiting for him to speak the words that would instill hope abandoned long ago.

I shouldn't have been surprised when Charlie left me to suffocate in the middle of crab infested water, their piercing pinches a sharp reminder that no, this wasn't a dream, and my life still very much sucked.

He drug his hands down his face, pulling the wrinkles of fatigue as he did so. Sighing, he merely hung his head, "I just wanted to tell you that Jacob called and said for you to call him back as soon as possible."

"Okay," I shifted my weight from foot to foot, "Can I go now?"

"Yeah, sure," he sighed, "When Tanya gets back from the cemetery, keep an eye out for her." Grumbling, he added, "And make sure her ass stays out of my liquor cabinet."

Defeated, I merely nodded and waited until he left before I headed back downstairs to call Jake. If I'm was being honest with myself, I didn't even need to return his phone call. I already knew what he was going to tell me, but part of me wanted to stay positive, wanted to believe that he wouldn't do such a thing, especially not on a day like today. No friend would ever do something like that.

"Hey, Bells!" He picked up on the third ring and I could practically imagine him beaming on the other line. His infectious smile was one of the reasons why he was my favorite person in the world.

"Hey Jake, my dad said you called earlier?" Hesitation and fear laced my tone, having a pretty good idea of what was coming next.

"Oh yeah, about that…" I can sense the rejection and apology coming, so I decided to make it easier on him.

"You called to bail on me?" It's a question asked in defeat, and I found myself wishing that I had the courage to make Jake feel like an ass for ditching his best friend on a day like this. Did other people have friends like this? In all the books that I had read, true friends stayed by their best friend's side during the worst circumstances, completely selfless and self-sacrificing, but that was fiction. This was real life.

And Jake was all I had.

If I separated from him, it would hurt me so much more than it would hurt him.

"Oh Bells, I'm so freaking sorry, but Leah Clearwater asked me out. Can you believe that?" He was ecstatic, but I remained mute, much to Jake's dismay, "Oh Bella, you have to know who Leah Clearwater is, right?"

"Nope," I twirled the phone cord around my finger, watching the tip turn blue as my circulation cut off, sighing as the numbness set in, "Can't say that I do."

"Well she's this hippie chick up at the Res, well known for her beliefs about sharing peace and love." I imagined him waggling his eyebrows at me, because yes, he's a cheesy teenager like that.

"So she's a whore?"

He gasped, "No, she's not a whore. She's just really friendly and compassionate. She said that she regrets not talking to me that much and she wants to get to know me better."

I nod, "So she's a whore under false pretenses?"

There was a pause, and I knew that he was taking a few moments to decipher what I meant. "What? No, she's not-" he huffed, "Fine, call her what you want, but she's hot and she asked me out!" He was giddy, and as much as I wanted to hate him for ditching me, who was I kidding? There wasn't a single person in this entire world that would choose someone like me over a beautiful girl.

I just wished that there could be one time, one person, that I came first with.

"Bells, you there?"

"Huh?" I shook my head, ridding myself of dangerous dreams, fruitless fantasy, "Oh yeah, sorry Jake. My brain just wondered off."

He chuckled, "Yeah, I could tell. That head of yours is a dangerous place, Bells."

I froze.

My head, my brain, my grades- my _good_ grades from a period of long ago.

Begging and pleading for _Them_ to come to my award's ceremony. Taking meaningless pictures, smiling of dizziness from the flashes, and then grinning as we said our goodbyes, completely ignorant of the fate that would follow.

"Jesus Christ, did you zone out on me again?"

I grabbed clumps of my limp and lifeless hair, begging for the pain in my scalp to distract me from the agony in my heart. "I-I-I have to g-go."

"Bella, wait, don't hang up on-"

I slammed the phone down, helplessly watching as my chest began to rise and collapse rapidly, heart threatening to beat out of my chest, running away from my poisonous emotions forever. Black ink tainted my blood, slowly spreading throughout the veins, infecting every organ with agony. I wished that I had a tourniquet to bind around my heart, isolating it from the poison, squeezing tight until I was floating in numbness.

The phone rang again.

And again.

And again.

I wanted to rip it off the hook, to take my frustrations out on something else for once. I wasn't stupid; I knew that my body was weak. Everything about me was weak. I was tired of being tortured, of torturing myself in hopes of redemption. This was my fault. I had grown to know it, come to accept it, so where was my opportunity to brush away the darkness that I had cloaked this family in?

A flash of bronze caught my eye out of the kitchen window.

There was no way…

No, of course not. He had specifically stated that he wouldn't be over until tomorrow afternoon. Today had just been a really stressful day and my mind wanted to make things worse by playing tricks on me.

Bang, Bang, BANG.

_Ignore it_.

"Hey Swan, open up! I know you're in there."

I growled, stalking over to the door, wildly swinging it open, "What do you want?" I imagined that I looked fierce and furious and ferocious, but by the way his emerald eyes stared at me in mockery and amusement, I knew I was everything but.

Still, I found confidence by pretending.

He smirked, "Man, what is it about me that pulls you out of your shell?" Forcing his way through the door, not the least bit bothered by his lack of invitation, he plops down on the sofa, peeking over at me, "You know, if you talked to those dicks at school like you talk to me, I'm willing to bet that over half of them would leave you alone."

"What do you want?" I repeated, a little less harsh this time. Maybe if I was nicer, he would be more compliant. He would leave my house sooner.

He ignored me, snatching the remote off the coffee table and turning on some sports games. I was just about to leave him and escape to my room when he announced, "I'm supposed to hang out with Tanya tonight. Any idea when she'll be home?"

"She went…" I trailed off, not knowing exactly what to say. I didn't know much about the dynamics of Tanya and Edward's friendship. I didn't know how close they were, and I certainly didn't know whether or not she had shared her past with him. Playing it safe, l cleared my throat, "She went out for a while. She'll probably be back in about an hour or so."

He nodded, "You didn't go with her to the cemetery?" He spoke in such a sickly sweet conversational voice that I thought I had misunderstood him.

I gawked at him, "You know?"

I was positive that he thought I was the most brash and socially awkward person to ever live, but surprisingly he just chuckled, as if death and broken families are the most common thing in the world.

Maybe they are.

And as awful of a person as it may make me, I find comfort in that thought; the thought of knowing that for once in my life, I'm not alone.

"Of course I know, Bella. Tanya's my best friend," he grins at me under the guise of harmlessness. He must think I'm stupid. I've survived this family long enough to know that he's just a bag of lies, that he's just like everyone else.

If he knows about Tanya's parents, he must know that every single thing is my fault, which brings me back to today's fundamental question.

"Why did you defend me, then?"

His eyes widen in fear instead of narrow in confusion, and I know that I've caught him. What I've caught him in, I don't know, but I caught him nonetheless.

He forced out a chuckle, "Bella, you've been the school's punching bag for years."

"Exactly, so why after all this time, you finally decided to step in? You've had years to save me, but you never did. You never even looked my way before today." I can feel my cheeks warm as I regret my wording. I can't believe I said 'save', like I was some kind of damsel in distress.

I was like Hercules. An exhausted and weak Hercules, weary from attempting to keep my world afloat for so long, but Hercules nonetheless.

Slowly, he rose from the sofa, walking until he stood directly in front of me, his breath fanning over my face. Cigarettes and cinnamon. "Bella, you have to know why." His eyes were searching mine, just like in those romance novels littered across every inch of my room, but something was off. I could feel it, some invisible force tainting this experience.

Almost instantaneously, I realized it was his eyes. They should have been a vibrant, sparkling shade of emerald. They looked like that when I surprised him in my truck, when I barked back with attitude that he wasn't expecting. Now, jade orbs with ebony swirling around the edges stared back at me, the color of his eyes when he was speaking to Victoria, when he stood up to Mike in Psychology.

Something was wrong.

I took a step back, shaking my head, "No Edward, I don't know." I attempted to slow my breathing, easing the quivers in my voice, "So why don't you explain it to me?"

A lethal smile greets me, "This has been going on for too long," he stepped forward, and with alarm, I realized that my back was hitting the wall. Crap, this was turning out just like all of the stories I had read. He was either going to seduce, kidnap, or kill me. I couldn't really decide which was worse.

He reached out, gingerly tucking a strand of hair behind my ear, "No one is going to fuck with you anymore, Bella. It's my senior year, and I want to do something to make an impression. I want people to remember me." His leans forward, his lips brushing my ear, "I want _you_ to remember me."

And then he's gone. Literally, in the blink of an eye.

I watch as he plops back down on his original spot on the sofa, calling over, "So if anyone messes with you, just tell me and I'll make sure that they learn their lesson, got it?"

Dumbfounded, I nod.

Well, that didn't turn out like I had expected, but then again, I was basing my experience off of novels. I couldn't believe that I had been so foolish as to compare real life to fiction, but what else was I supposed to do? It's not like I had anything else to go off of.

"Hey Bella?" I was jerked out of my thoughts, watching Edward pat the seat beside him, "Why are you standing in your own house? Come take a seat, make me feel welcome and engage me in a little friendly conversation."

I should have said no. I should have marched up to my room, put on some music, finished my homework, and read like it was just an ordinary day. But I knew that even if I blasted the music for our neighbors to hear and became absorbed into my favorite books, there was no way that I could even pretend to ignore Edward Cullen. There was just something about him that demanded my attention- whether it was his presence, his attitude, or his looks, I wasn't quite sure.

Maybe it was just the simple fact that he was the first person in years to take an interest in me.

Regardless, whether or not my conscience was ready to fully accept it, I was a goner when it came to Edward Cullen.

Sealing my fate, I crawled onto the sofa and tucked my feet beneath me. I glanced up at him, "So, what do you want to watch?"


End file.
